Hi,
It's been over a year since I last wrote something. Life is quite busy these days, with a baby on board, and a whole new life in a new country.
I am writing today about a personal experience, that brought light and deeper understanding of something the Lord has said.
Have you ever thrown a party,a big one that you were very excited to host, yet noone - or few- showed up?
Each one of those you invited though had a very legitimate reason why they can't make it (at least from their own point of view and priorities hierarchy) .
What did you feel then? towards yourself, and towards those you invited.
You've prepared everything so perfectly, even days ahead and was really looking forward to spending some nice time with them, sharing and talking.. but 80% of those invited excused themselves.. some even hours before the party, leaving you with only 20% who showed up, to find the party not interesting to them... so they left an hour after they came! :)
- Yes, it did not affect my self-worth, but it hurts, because of the priorities thing you just mentioned. And it hurts, because I have all this love and blessings (the food and drinks in your case) that I wanted to enjoy sharing with you! Yet noone showed... all with their own legitimate reasons too!
It's been over a year since I last wrote something. Life is quite busy these days, with a baby on board, and a whole new life in a new country.
I am writing today about a personal experience, that brought light and deeper understanding of something the Lord has said.
Have you ever thrown a party,a big one that you were very excited to host, yet noone - or few- showed up?
Each one of those you invited though had a very legitimate reason why they can't make it (at least from their own point of view and priorities hierarchy) .
What did you feel then? towards yourself, and towards those you invited.
You've prepared everything so perfectly, even days ahead and was really looking forward to spending some nice time with them, sharing and talking.. but 80% of those invited excused themselves.. some even hours before the party, leaving you with only 20% who showed up, to find the party not interesting to them... so they left an hour after they came! :)
It's quite embarrassing as share this, because the first thought that came to my mind is: You are not loved! people simply don't like you!
Trying to make myself feel better I thought: no, it's only because of the timing of it. You know, these two had another birthday to attend, and that girl she was busy with her kids, and the other was working Saturday.. and this couple was travelling, and those who showed up... remember, he had a flu and she had a long day, so they couldn't stay longer.
Still, didn't help. I felt very hurt deep inside.
What about all this food I have cooked, the energy and time spent? I wanted to enjoy their company, to share some time together. why was I the bottom of their priorities list? why was the party their "I-will-go-if-I-have-nothing-else" kind of option.
Then I heard a voice: See, now you will relate! This is the feeling I wanted to describe when I told you the Parable of the Great Banquet:
15 When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, “Blessed is the one who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.”
16 Jesus replied: “A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. 17 At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’
18 “But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, ‘I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.’
19 “Another said, ‘I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.’
20 “Still another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’
21 “The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry"
- Yes!! That's exactly what happened with me! But you definitely didn't feel "unloved" God, right? I mean it did not affect your self-image, because you need no affirmation to yourself.
- Yes, it did not affect my self-worth, but it hurts, because of the priorities thing you just mentioned. And it hurts, because I have all this love and blessings (the food and drinks in your case) that I wanted to enjoy sharing with you! Yet noone showed... all with their own legitimate reasons too!
You know what, each time you excuse yourself from sharing time with me (for your own valid list of priorities:
sorry I am preparing food,
sorry I am eating food,
sorry I have to take a shower,
sorry I have to go browse Facebook,
sorry I really have to watch that movie,
sorry I despirately need to sleep right now,
sorry I have to go shopping,
sorry, you know what.. I have to work these couple of hours after work..
sorry, I don't have 10 minutes a day to come to your banquet...
It hurts just the same as you felt.... Remember that!
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