Wanting to be healed...
Wondering what would healing really be?
How do you heal Jesus?
Am I on the right track?
Am I standing still standing still?
I am sick of being different than people around me...
Jesus was silent... hearing all my questions and thoughts with a calm smile on his face. Looking right through my bleeding heart to the soul that lies there... I was angry, upset, blowing and puzzled... and some thoughts of 'giving up' were rising. "Don't you have anything to answer me?!!!" I asked. And God said "The blind man"...
- "Excuse me?!"...
And he said "Open your bible", and I will tell you...
I opened my bible, and right there, on the first page I opened, and on the first paragraph that I layed my eyes on was the story:
Mark 8: 22-25
"They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man's eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, "Do you see anything?" He looked up and said, "I see people; they look like trees walking around." Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Jesus sent him home, saying, "Don't go into the village."
I brust into tears, feeling: "Your smile was not a sign of uncaring..."
He said: Look Mero....
* The blind man, would not have been able to walk on his own and come to me. "people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him". So, you must accept to be led by other people who will bring you through the road. Don't run away when people get near to you.. and don't hide youself feeling "I am different than them"... for if the blind man did so, he wouldn't have been able to get to the cure.
* They asked me to touch him to get healed. And you are asking for the same "a healing touch" and that's it. But I didn't do this, I took the blind man by hand and led him outside the village. This walk was so important. He needed this... and I did the same with you. Remeber the walks and talks we used to have! But this is not yet "Healing".
* I spit in on the man's eyes. Strange isn't it?! the blind man did not expect this act. And it quite annoyed him to tell you the truth. But I had to! and same with you. I sometimes do things that you did not expect to be part of the healing process. Things that look strange, un-necessary. Things that are painful for you. Things that you find no explaination for. But give me the space to put some of things that are "mine" into "you" :)
* The man looked up, and saw people like trees. He started to see. He started to identify shapes. He started to interpret the light going through his eyes. Yet, he felt "what is that! I do not see the same way people around me see! Am I healed? Will I have to live like that... seeing trees! Maybe this is the best that can happen to me, after being blind for years. But I told him not to be discouraged, this is not the end yet. Healing is a process, not a sudden touch. And through the process you may feel still "different", still "less than people around you".. But this is not the end, so be faithful and let me continue my work.
* "Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly". "Once More"... let me continue the work I started. Don't be discouraged, and don't lose faith. Now healing is complete. Now his eyes were opened. Now his sight was restored. "Restored" what was once lost. He got back what was once gone from him. He was able to see everything clearly. He was cured. Yet, he was not like everybody around him.. He was MUCH HAPPIER. He had an experience that no other "normal" one have had. None of them walked with me hand in hand outside the village. None of them had parts of me placed into him. None of them had this "touch".
I know you now are seeing, seeing the trees, seeing in a different way than people around you. Puzzled and wondering with a thousand question in your head. I can hear them.
But let me continue my work.. now you know how I heal.
And when you're healed, you will not ever go back into the same old village of yours again :)
So... Mero smiled, and said to him "continue" ....
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